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| journey
ahead- Doris Kasson, USA an'ya: This haiku is my first choice because it takes me right along on that journey through the mist to the mountain. Its author encompasses so much of the photo in this haiku of 3 succinct lines of only 7 words/10 syllables. It's well-written and intensely deepens the photo. |
magnificant mountains- Deborah Russell, USA an'ya: This haiku also references the mountains in the photo, plus sunlight and river stone as well. Perhaps I might perhaps suggest dropping the adjective "magnificent" and let the readers decide that for themselves after they see the image. Actually just tightening it up a bit, for instance: distant mountains- soji: Some nice elements here, but it could use some rearranging. Two possibilities: mist shrouded mountain or cloud-hidden peaks because if the sunlight tried to gather a stone it would slip right through its fingers.[cloud-hidden alludes to an Alan Watts poem] |
sun's
rays isuku, USA an'ya: This one is a direct match more-or-less to the photo, therefore it's effective too. I do believe it needs "the" in line one for smoother flow, and an emdash in line 2 for further pause, otherwise A-okay.
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